Parenting is a learning experience. No child ever came with a handbook
and we spend our time in trial and error – what worked for one child
might not work for another. Becoming a Powerful Parent is about finding
tools to help you cling to the positive; being empowered to LOVE and
CARE for your child in the way only you can.
Over the last few years I have had a change in the way I parent. I am now
using mental tools and natural essential oils to assist and empower
myself as a parent. I am also empowering my children to take
responsibility for their actions, make choices, and choose to be
positive in their own outlooks on life. They are learning to control
anger and express their feelings in constructive ways. They are learning
how they can have what they want from life with positive thinking and
actions. “Can’t” is a word that is not allowed in our house: anything is
possible.
Watch for future posts as I will be sharing some of the tools we use here!
TOOLS for Families in
fighting anger and negativity and staying POSITIVE:
Expression:
When we have feelings of anger and hate we need to ‘own them
and change them’ (
Feelings Buried Alive
Never Die by
Karol Truman). Expressing these feelings to make believe
people, (pillows or trees or rocks or whatever you wish), either out loud or in
writing is one way of doing this. It helps our souls to get the anger OUT, and
allow forgiveness, peace and love IN. I try to do this regularly and encourage
my children to do it as well. When they are angry I give them some essential
oils, and a choice: go outside and yell at a tree, hit a pillow and yell, write
it out, or talk with me.
Declarations or Affirmations:
We need positive input to combat the negative thoughts we
have. Science has proven we have way more negative thoughts than positive. We
say declarations each morning (we try). These declarations can be any positive
statement: I am loved. I am amazing. I am obedient (Mom and Dad like this one).
I am a good student. I can do hard things. I have friends, etc. etc. You can
also develop these affirmations by taking the negative thoughts you believe
about yourself and turning them around. For example: “I am worthless,” becomes,
“I am amazing and valuable.” Do 2 positives for each negative thought you have.
A good number to start with is 10. This is a tool we have learned from
3 Key Elements.
Essential Oils:
Essential oils have long been used for physical health, but
they are also very powerful with emotional health. Daniel MacDonald’s book:
Emotional Healing with Essential Oils is a great introduction to this kind of
use of essential oils. We are just now delving into this!
Prayer:
I make an effort to have prayer each morning and night with
my whole family. Whatever your religion or ‘Higher Power,’ turning to it for
help brings peace and confidence. I see a difference in my children’s day when
we have prayer.
Love and Logic
It was a late dinner last Saturday night. Earlier in the day
weekly chores had been done, but the time for dinner jobs and the dreaded cleaning
of the boys’ bedroom had come and gone. “It’s clean, Mom.” They told me. “I
will Mom,” they said.
My training from Love and Logic a few weeks back kicked in
just when I was about to tear their heads off. “Well, that’s great.” I said, “Because
I only serve dinner to those who have finished their jobs.”
It took about 4 times of this broken record statement for my 7 year old
to say, “You mean, if I don’t set the table, I don’t eat?”
“That’s correct. I only serve
dinner to those who have finished their jobs. And I believe you have another
job, don’t you?”
“Oh…” he replied. He quickly
began on the table and got most of it done. The bedroom was a harder case.
Dinner was ready and my husband, my daughter and I sat down together to
pray. After prayer, we dug in. I could hear the boys arguing but I did not get
up. My husband calmly got up to check on them and let them know we would soon
be starting the family movie. I heard the gasps, the alarm in their movements
as they all of a sudden started to work. Soon the vacuum was out and the movie
was ready to start. No more arguing. Just working.
When they were done, they came in
and served up their food as we continued the movie. They had to watch at a
strange angle, but did not complain. They had met the requirements and were
able to serve themselves dinner.
It was nice to not argue. It was
great to award the accomplishment of chores. It was amazing to have a quiet
dinner. Love and Logic is a new favorite strategy I will be using more often.
Check out their website:
They have a lot of products for sale, none of
which I have bought. If you click at the tab, “For parents” you can scroll down
to ‘free articles and handouts.’ Great material.
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