Powerful Parenting Tools

Parenting is a learning experience. No child ever came with a handbook and we spend our time in trial and error – what worked for one child might not work for another. Becoming a Powerful Parent is about finding tools to help you cling to the positive; being empowered to LOVE and CARE for your child in the way only you can. 

Over the last few years I have had a change in the way I parent. I am now
using mental tools and natural essential oils to assist and empower myself as a parent. I am also empowering my children to take responsibility for their actions, make choices, and choose to be positive in their own outlooks on life. They are learning to control anger and express their feelings in constructive ways. They are learning how they can have what they want from life with positive thinking and actions. “Can’t” is a word that is not allowed in our house: anything is possible.

Watch for future posts as I will be sharing some of the tools we use here! 

TOOLS for Families in fighting anger and negativity and staying POSITIVE:

When we have feelings of anger and hate we need to ‘own them and change them’ (Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman). Expressing these feelings to make believe people, (pillows or trees or rocks or whatever you wish), either out loud or in writing is one way of doing this. It helps our souls to get the anger OUT, and allow forgiveness, peace and love IN. I try to do this regularly and encourage my children to do it as well. When they are angry I give them some essential oils, and a choice: go outside and yell at a tree, hit a pillow and yell, write it out, or talk with me.
Declarations or Affirmations:
We need positive input to combat the negative thoughts we have. Science has proven we have way more negative thoughts than positive. We say declarations each morning (we try). These declarations can be any positive statement: I am loved. I am amazing. I am obedient (Mom and Dad like this one). I am a good student. I can do hard things. I have friends, etc. etc. You can also develop these affirmations by taking the negative thoughts you believe about yourself and turning them around. For example: “I am worthless,” becomes, “I am amazing and valuable.” Do 2 positives for each negative thought you have. A good number to start with is 10. This is a tool we have learned from 3 Key Elements.
Essential Oils:
Essential oils have long been used for physical health, but they are also very powerful with emotional health. Daniel MacDonald’s book: Emotional Healing with Essential Oils is a great introduction to this kind of use of essential oils. We are just now delving into this!
I make an effort to have prayer each morning and night with my whole family. Whatever your religion or ‘Higher Power,’ turning to it for help brings peace and confidence. I see a difference in my children’s day when we have prayer.

Love and Logic

It was a late dinner last Saturday night. Earlier in the day weekly chores had been done, but the time for dinner jobs and the dreaded cleaning of the boys’ bedroom had come and gone. “It’s clean, Mom.” They told me. “I will Mom,” they said.
My training from Love and Logic a few weeks back kicked in just when I was about to tear their heads off. “Well, that’s great.” I said, “Because I only serve dinner to those who have finished their jobs.”

It took about 4 times of this broken record statement for my 7 year old to say, “You mean, if I don’t set the table, I don’t eat?”  
               “That’s correct. I only serve dinner to those who have finished their jobs. And I believe you have another job, don’t  you?”
               “Oh…” he replied. He quickly began on the table and got most of it done. The bedroom was a harder case.

Dinner was ready and my husband, my daughter and I sat down together to pray. After prayer, we dug in. I could hear the boys arguing but I did not get up. My husband calmly got up to check on them and let them know we would soon be starting the family movie. I heard the gasps, the alarm in their movements as they all of a sudden started to work. Soon the vacuum was out and the movie was ready to start. No more arguing. Just working.
               When they were done, they came in and served up their food as we continued the movie. They had to watch at a strange angle, but did not complain. They had met the requirements and were able to serve themselves dinner.  

               It was nice to not argue. It was great to award the accomplishment of chores. It was amazing to have a quiet dinner. Love and Logic is a new favorite strategy I will be using more often. Check out their website: 

They have a lot of products for sale, none of which I have bought. If you click at the tab, “For parents” you can scroll down to ‘free articles and handouts.’ Great material.    

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