If you have questions or need to vent and get support send me an email and I will post my thoughts for you!
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Update on the School Situation.... Jan 21, 2015
After a year and a half of struggling in school, I did it, I brought him home. Read about how that journey started here.
Here's what happened. Christmas break ended and he went back to school. Everyday was a fight to get homework done. He started missing privileges, then started acting out more at home. Martin Luther King day - no school. Then Tuesday he came home a wreck. He was out of control and I knew something was wrong. I just looked at him and asked, "What happened?" He actually let me hug him and replied, "It's been an awful day."
When I finally got the chance to sit down with him, after all the hustle and bustle of the afternoon, I simply asked him to tell me how he was feeling. He answered, "panicked." We had recently discussed different emotions and the idea of "panic" and "paranoia." It was an emotion we had recently identified and that he knew he had felt before. He was telling me, "I'm stressed out. I don't feel safe." Other emotions we identified as we talked: frustration, boredom, feeling restricted (creatively).
SO.... I finally said enough, is enough. Today started day 1 of home-school and it's going to be an adjustment. However, he is excited and I guess that's saying something. At the moment he is leading a language arts activity with my pre-schooler. The classic activity labeling items in the house. You might hear from other sources that this isn't the best activity to do, however I have found it extremely useful in my house. It's a fabulous literacy activity. He is spelling words and learning some root words, while my pre-schooler is doing letter recognition as well as object identification and pre-literacy.
What else do we have in store today?
A Science project that I found in my fridge this morning: we will be investigating mold. Since he's never been involved with a Science Fair, we are going to do the whole big bang project and take it to other home-schooled students in our neighborhood.
Other great ideas I have: Lego fractions!
Our reading workshop and language arts theme will be all around Harry Potter and Heroes. We are reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets right now. So in light of this new adventure and the many ideas that I have been asked for, I'm starting a new blog featuring my 3 deaf children, homeschool, language and literacy activities as well as parenting tips and great support ideas for parents of deaf children & even health and wellness! I hope you'll join me at my new blog: The Kids of Deaf Sense!
Parent Teacher Conference… expanded.
Our school had
not contacted us for a parent teacher conference. This was my first year at
this school and I was curious as to why not. I contacted the teacher and
requested one. Since then, we have had many parent requested Teacher
conferences.
When we noticed that little was changing, we expanded that
conference to include the administrator, the counselor and today, the
curriculum specialist.
Really, my son is doing fine. His attention has improved,
(at least they did not mention any concerns on the matter... but it showed up as a mild concern on his report card! Still... Hooray! Another post
soon on how we have naturally helped him improve his behavior and focus in
class… .) he is reading on level, with some areas that are a little behind. He
has individualized work that is on his level, and the content areas are
improving.
What has ‘expanding’ the parent teacher conference done for
us? It makes sure that the administrator knows what is going on in class on an
instructional level, and what we would like to see improved. It allowed us to
give feedback directly to the administrator related to parent/teacher
communication and parent/school communication. It brings in ideas of how to add
to the curriculum from the specialist, so that she can add, support and
encourage content areas that are weak.
And… it lets the teachers know we are serious. We want to
see the changes we discussed. If not, we will have to look again at different
options. For now, he will stay where he is.Check back in the January...
Ok… time to spill my guts.
I asked an important question today: what is the best school
placement for my child?
For those of you with children who have IEPs, you will
know what I mean. Many of you other parents have children who may not “fit in”
in the regular public education classroom. They are active kids who are
kinesthetic learners; they are bright, dyslexic, just delayed, day dreamers . .
. The list goes on and on, doesn’t it.
I think most parents ponder the
question: Is my child getting what he or she should out of school? Is there
somewhere better? Should I do home school? A charter school? An online school?
Yes… these were the thoughts of my day. Should my child
continue to attend a specialized school for the deaf? How would he do in the mainstream
with an interpreter? What about a Montessori school or other charter school?
The other Deaf/ Hard of Hearing program in town?
In effort to answer these questions, it was suggested that I
visualize my child the way I want him to be. I thought, “I want him to be
competent and to love learning. I want him to have a strong bilingual
foundation in ASL and English. I want him to not just be able to read on grade
level, but to turn to reading as a source of information and entertainment
(even if it is mostly on the TV screen in the form of captions.) I want him to
come home from school and recount fun experiences and facts, not just the
sports he has played. I want him to be engaged in critical thinking and making
decisions. I want him to be involved in fun science experiments that stretch
his imagination and make him think. I also want him to have good friends that push
him to do better. I want him to be challenged and pulled up to a higher level
of thinking and learning every day.”
Well… you might be thinking, maybe he’s just a sports guy
who doesn’t care much for school. That’s not really my boy. He does LOVE
sports, but he also is interested in so many things and wants to learn. He
loves anything about science, any story signed aloud in ASL. He loves
non-fiction books and learning about history. When you present a variety of
topics, he’s there and he wants to learn more.
So… if he is a motivated learner, has the language ability
to improve and is really doing his best to pay attention and move forward,
wherein lies the problem?
- Does he need medication because the screening says he might have ADD?
- Is it a lack of planning on the part of the teacher? A tendency to give ‘busy’ work instead of engage students in their learning through thematic units that include learning in social studies, science and math?
- Is it a difference in philosophy?
- A lack of use of ASL, read alouds and a balanced literacy program?
- Is it a lack of support from the administration in what is expected?
- Is it the overall mindset of, “Well, deafness is a disability and we need to focus on reading and writing so he will get that down,” while leaving out the enriching and important content areas?
I have worked for 3 years in research and development for
deaf children. I taught at a school for the deaf for 6 years. I saw the low
expectations, the busy work, the lack of on level challenging curriculum. I
also saw teachers that put in all of their effort to make sure the kids were
engaged, loving learning, and learning new things every day.
I know that what happens
in any classroom is in the hands of the teacher. My child can do his best, but if
the teacher and the staff are not interested in him and in teaching a way that
will appeal to and engage him, how much can you expect? If after meeting after
meeting, you still see him bored and frustrated with minimal changes in
instruction and curriculum, what more can you do?
When I asked him how he liked school he signed, “I PATIENT”
Being interpreted that means: “I put up with it.”
And so… I face this question. Do I dare face that world of
solitary isolation that so many deaf and hard of hearing adults have been through
and would never go back? Do I dare put his education in the hands of an interpreter
and a teacher who has probably never worked with a deaf child before? All in
the hopes of engaging and challenging my son and immersing him in on-grade
curriculum in all content areas.
And yet, if I don’t… will I regret it? Will I look back in 5
years when the curriculum is still not challenging, and wish I had? We can always go back to the deaf school. Right?
And then I realize the most important thing: “No matter what,
he will have us.”
My response to the Taekwondo Master
Tonight I walked out on a wonderful opportunity to have my
deaf son involved in a top of the art Karate Program. The reason? They wouldn’t
allow me to interpret when giving instructions on how to live with a “black
belt attitude.” Now, they were willing to compromise with me: I would be able to
interpret when I was sitting down and he could see me easily from where he sat
in the middle of the class, but I would not be able to stand and move quietly
to the back of the class when they turned to face that way. Now, understand,
the only time I do interpret is when the instruction is longer than a minute.
Normally it includes information on how to ‘stand strong,’ treat others with
courtesy, and act at home in a respectful way. To me, these things are MORE
important than the kicks, blocks and punches they throw. This instruction is one
of the main reasons that I had liked this school.
Tonight when I stood up to interpret just such a message,
the Master teaching the class motioned for me to sit down. Are you kidding me?
You are talking to my boy about not being bullied at school. You are telling
him how he can act so he can earn respect from those around him. “Well, you
could write that information down and discuss it with him later.” Are you
kidding me? This is a boy who does not always want to listen to his mother. However, if I interpret it, it is a
different story. He understands the role of an interpreter and knows my signs would be coming from the teacher, not me. It is these instructors who can teach a child to show respect to his mother and father, and the kid says, “Yeah, that’s
cool.”
“Well, my instructors are taking more time with him than
with any other student out there.” Really? I have sat and watched
the last 3 weeks. You have amazing instructors who make everything very visual
for EVERYBODY. Not one of them has singled my son out any more than any other
student. You did tonight of your own choice, not because he needed it. He
watches the other kids, so naturally he will be behind. But he is not far behind often and stays on task as well as the others.
“When you get up to do your thing, I lose the attention of
half the class.” Hmm. Aren’t you teaching them to have attention
and to deal with distractions? Shouldn’t it enhance their ability to be
distracted and come directly back to the point quickly? How many of these
students see interpreters for the deaf in their schools or in other settings?
This is just a life lesson that they will get used to and soon it will not be a
distraction at all.
“I have taught and worked with many students in the past who
are deaf. I know how to get them the instruction they need, even if it is with
private lessons.” He left the implied portion unstated: “They didn’t need to
have an interpreter.” Well, maybe their
parents didn’t care about the little things. Maybe their parents didn’t know
how to interpret the messages that you can’t get just by watching. Maybe their
parents were ok watching their little boy or girl sit there while someone talks, even when their
child glances over to them for information – “what was that?” the expression
says. Maybe other parents are ok doing that – I am not.
When we got home, my son told me, “My eyes are tired. I had
to watch so closely.” Yeah – he is putting forth the effort and trying his
hardest to do his best, and his Master wouldn’t let him in on the information
that will help him do his best in EVERY situation for the rest of his life, not
just Karate Class.
We walked out, and we are not going back.
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