Grateful for “Deaf”

I’m shopping in the store. I can feel the staring eyes before I look up. American Sign Language seems to be a magnet for it. Most of the time, the stares are curious. Many times I get questions. 

“How old is she?”

 

“18 months” I reply.

“Can she hear anything at all? How is she already signing?”

The first question I simply answer, “Not much, she’s Deaf.” 

The second question, I love. I love explaining how American Sign Language allows babies to express the language that is growing and developing inside of their heads long before vocal chords develop enough to form words. 

Sometimes the staring and the questioning has a hidden tone, a tone of pity, sympathy, sadness.

It is those stares and questions I wish to address today. 

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am grateful to be a part of a Deaf family. 

I am hearing, and I am grateful for my hearing. My husband is Deaf. I am grateful for him, just the way he is! I have four children: two boys, two girls; one hearing and three deaf, all amazing. 

I love that Deaf isn’t a disability in our world, it’s merely a part of who we are. 

I love that we can sign with our mouths full and from across a large room. I love that we can have private conversations in the middle of a room full of hearing people. I love that we are a part of a rich culture that continues to mold and change over time. I love the Deaf jokes, the stories, the richness of ASL. I love exploring my own skill in ASL as I read books and tell stories to the children.

I love how my hearing son started signing at age 6 months. His education, language, and personality has been developed by being bilingual. His ASL has grown by leaps and bounds this year. He supports his siblings in amazing ways and is a great big brother.

I love all of my children’s expressions, their stories, poems and ‘songs.’ I love that they feel free to develop their language and their many different abilities. In their eyes, there is nothing they cannot do. I love the “We Succeed Because We Can” poster that hangs on their door. They know about other Deaf adults who have succeeded in life, using ASL and their unique talents. Nothing stopped them. Nothing will stop my children. 

I love that my children know they are Deaf, and are proud of it. I love that my son is hearing and proud of that. 

I love the conversations we have had about identity and who we really are. When you describe yourself, what do you say? The focus has always been on likes, dislikes, abilities and talents and character. When we really get down to it, hearing and deaf… doesn’t really matter. The concern of, “He’s Deaf and I’m hearing,” melts away when you focus on who we are inside. 

 

                    We ARE people. 

                We ARE AMAZING. 

                          All of us. 

We are put together on Earth to learn and grow.

I’m grateful for my family. 

I’m grateful for the journey. 

I’m grateful for our place in the Deaf world.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to be the Mother of my amazing children.

I’m grateful each one has a place in my home and in my heart.

Not enough FUN!

Do you ever get so BUSY and WORRIED that you FORGET to have FUN???

Yeah, I do.

As Moms and parents, we are focused on our little ones. Do they have what they need? Are they happy? Is there enough food in the fridge? Is it healthy enough? Is there enough $ in the bank? How is school going? Sports? Friends?

I was feeling grumpy and disappointed one week. It hadn't been a particularly bad week, but was a week during a time when I was working hard and not seeing a lot of success from it. Being a "Momprenuer" that happens from time to time. The worry and fear seem to overtake the day to day joys of being a MOM and working from home.

I woke up one morning that week and said, "Today I need to have FUN!"

My daughter had tickets for the Carousel near where we live. What a great activity for a rainy day! Perfect. We got ready, ran some errands and headed over. I pulled up outside the Carousel to see a sign in big RED letters: "CLOSED."

Ahhhh.... When I explained what was wrong, my daughter looked at me and signed, "I sad."

"I'm sad too!" What to do? "Well," I said, "Do you want to go for a walk?"

She nodded. Thank goodness I had the umbrella and the stroller! Ok! We got out and had a beautiful walk in the misty rain. I love Fall. There were leaves on the grass, a crisp breeze on the wind, and colors everywhere. The river ran alongside our quick 15 min stroll. My daughter took off, running up the outside amphitheater. We took pictures. We laughed. We got wet! The mist turned to rain and we ran back to our car, both girls curled up in the stroller.

WHY, I thought to myself, haven't we done this more often? Hello! LIVE! 

Ok... isnt' that adorable? And completely FUN! Made my day!

My goal for this month: 

Have FUN EVERY DAY! 

Do something FUN each day!

Be grateful each day just to be alive, living and learning and growing! 

Join me! Be Grateful and do something fun!

My Favorite 5 minutes!

My Favorite 5 Minutes!

What is your favorite time of the day? Is there something you do every day that just lights you up and makes you feel good inside? 

Now… let’s get one thing straight. The time I am thinking of IS my favorite time; however, it’s NOT always easy to do, I don’t always WANT to do it, and, well… sometimes it just doesn’t go as you planned. 

My favorite 5 minutes of every day are...

 the 5 minutes just before my kids go to bed!

Well…. maybe not always, but most of the time.

WHAT????  I know you are thinking, “HOW?” How can that be? Yelling at your kids to finish that last bit of homework, pick up that last piece of clothing off the floor, brush their teeth, say their prayers, get into bed, stay there, and ‘no, you can’t have a drink.’ How can that be fun???

Well. One day many years ago I was talking with a friend, a single mother who worked two jobs just to keep her family together. We talked about how hard it was to get our kids to listen to us and to keep a good positive relationship with them. She told me of a tradition that they did in their family. It’s called simply, “five.”

You finally get your child in bed (that’s the hard part!), and then go to him and kneel down by his bed, or crawl in beside him. Take out your hand and say something positive you like about your child, something you appreciate that he has done today, something you love about him. Take careful note of things you have been working on with him or that maybe he is struggling with. For example, if you have been potty training and he made it half the day, you say, “Wow! You were dry all morning! Thanks for paying attention and getting to the bathroom!” Yeah, it’s true he wet right after lunch, but you don’t say a word about that. ONLY POSITIVE.

Having my son ask for “five” is what makes it worth it. The relationship is what builds and is strengthened, and what makes this my favorite time of day. 

As my kids have grown, this “five” has taken on a different meaning. Now it’s 5 minutes to talk about the day. Sometimes I have them share things they liked about their day. Sometimes, we talk together about problems. Sometimes we read a story or do a puzzle. Sometimes they read me their journal. Sometimes “five” turns into “ten.” 

The rule is: no one gets to interrupt. Not eve
n Daddy. With each child, he or she gets undivided attention. And if I’m gone for work or play, they want me to do “five” in the morning.

It’s said that the most important times of the day are the first 15 minutes in the morning and the last 15 minutes before sleep.

Maybe that’s why they are my favorite. 

Thank you, dear friend, for sharing with me what has become a very important tradition in our home! And for making a difference in the lives of these amazing children of mine!